16 Comments

This was lovely!

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Thanks for reading :)

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Josh, I had a similar experience, turning from a lifelong pursuit of the arts to work that could support the wonder that was and remains my daughter. From my SubStack on my work life, Clocked In: “Eventually it would dawn on me that nothing I could have ever achieved as an actor, musician or artist of any kind could compare to the challenge and achievement of fatherhood.”

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Love that essay in the middle!

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Me too. All time favorite.

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Stephen King makes a similar point in a cartoon strip about his desk. He tried to write at a big fancy one in the middle of his attic for a while, but finally he converted that space to a family area and went back to a little desk under one eave. He says at the end, "Life isn't a support system for art. It's the other way around."

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Great essay Joshua. Anytime you're able to weave in Sorkin is always a step towards something better.

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Thanks for reading! Enjoying your series, too.

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I love all the details, but especially the one about adoptive parents feeling that same connection. I was right there for the whole read--you're definitely on to something. I'm guessing your next memoir?

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The thought has crossed my mind! There aren't a lot of "dadmoirs" out there, and the looser structure of the memoir-in-essays seems amenable to this topic. I can't really conceive of a more traditional memoir of parenting, since I'm still in the middle of it and can't see the narrative arcs or throughlines as well as I might a decade from now.

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Definitely write a dadmoir!

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Great piece, Joshua!

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I was in this space during my 40s. It took a clinical depression, a black lab and a China girl to cure me.

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And a new focus on sustainability, if I recall?

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I'm just trudging through the emails I didn't look at for a couple weeks after my accident and just read this essay today Josh. What a fascinating look into your journey to parenthood! Thank you for sharing such personal, intimate details. I would like to share my journey that ended with my decision not to have children with you sometime (it's not a long one).

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