19 Comments
Sep 13, 2022Liked by Joshua Doležal

Another excellent essay, as I make my way back through your writing. When I was a third-year assistant professor at a liberal-arts/comprehensive university in the Midwest, I was working 80- to 100-hour weeks trying to teach my 3 lectures and 3 labs per semester to my own standards, and to do a little research on the side, and to advise 40+ students, all while my 'colleagues' were backstabbing me and administrators were monitoring electronic communications. I'd come home and my 4-year-old son would run away from me, not having seen me for the whole day (or worse). I decided that this was not a life worth living, and so I quit, in mid-academic year. We moved to another state for my wife's career, which had been on pause since the arrival of our son, and I arrived with basically no idea of what I would do with my life, for the first time since I was 5 years old.

And it was the best decision of my life, other than marrying my wife. I used that fallow time to be with my son, and we bonded well once I wasn't consumed with and depressed by work. I thought deeply about what I should do with my life, and realized that I was a born teacher and needed to give that one more shot. And I did that as a lowly precarious lecturer and soft-money scientist, but instead of being bitter about that status, I actually reveled in the ability to be paid (little, but still paid) to teach. So I threw myself into teaching, again, but with a sense of freedom and joy. I rejected society's and academe's norms and replaced them with my own--since money is its own form of shackles, I was free to be me in the classroom.

As I tell my own students, you do your best work when you're having fun, and I did, in both teaching and research. And then lightning struck, and I got a second chance to be on the tenure track (which is probably a 1 in 1000 chance), and I've made the most of that for the last 14 years.

Now I'm coming closer to retirement, and my leaving this time will be different. I'm hoping, though, that my experience the first time around will allow me to depart gracefully. I very much identify with your perspective here. One difference, though: my public university doesn't have sabbaticals, so I have never had a sabbatical, not one, in my entire 24-year teaching career. Retirement will be, for me, my one, only, and permanent sabbatical!

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This is great, Josh. Resignation is a permanent sabbatical. A false retirement - retirement without the financial security and bad hip.

"No essay or book will ever love me back. My kids will. My kids do." This line is the same reason why I left academia. I've also since left corporate. So, we're in the same boat. Happy to navigate this together!

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Jun 14, 2022Liked by Joshua Doležal

Thanks for sharing these thoughts, Josh. As I consider an early retirement, this gives me much to consider. Sounds like you made a decision that's been transformative for you.

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One source of grief for me is the response from the administrations of colleges and universities when Iowa's governor declared war on public health measures. Instead of sticking up for best practices, they abandoned masks and vaccines fairly quickly in order to grovel at her feet. Following her lead, some coaches even told their teams not to get vaccinated or wear masks. A colleague of ours asked her class why they did not wear masks when she did. The answer was a cruel,"You're old." She replied "No, I'm educated." But it's a hard sell when you have scant back-up and even opposition on your campus. Here in Iowa, the ignorant legislature has placed bans on any mask mandates in the future and attempt to undo any vaccine requirements. Places which value knowledge and truth should stand up to this. But they maintain a discreet silence. It's fully understandable why you left Iowa. Not to mention, you sound like you have made great progress as a writer which you would not have done otherwise.

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I think you made a wonderful choice.

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Some perspective is needed, and this post probably won't be the kudos you might be seeking.

Having been a faculty brat, I'll play devil's advocate. My dad worked every day, every week in the prof era of not working from home and going 9-5 and he was with his family. He loved his job. Is higher ed really a gulag? I worked in small newspapers and after 20 years topped out at $24,000 a year with 60 hour weeks and many editors f-bombing me across the newsroom because I misplaced a comma. A full load in higher ed is 3 classes plus research and your dean probably isn't cussing you out on a daily basis.

You get some bad co-workers and bosses? Welcome to America. Ever work in fast food, in a cubicle 8-5 with a half-hour lunch (if that) with angry bosses, upset middle managers, and so forth?

Not dismissing your personal journey here and I know comments on a blog are often to support the author, but the old journalist in me has me highly skeptical. I also hope your writing career works out, but like artists, athletes, and musicians, I'd say the odds are against you and a full-time, tenure teaching job is a much more stable gig. I think your kids would still love you if your worked full-time.

Yes, I understand the bad politics of higher ed, I worked in it. It mirrors society. Sorry for the cynicism, but I'm not buying it that higher ed is some salt mine. If it is, profs should gain some perspective by working at some soulless tech company for 60 hours a week and report back to us.

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deletedJul 19, 2022Liked by Joshua Doležal
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