I appreciate your writing about the things I experienced in academia. I started writing about my graduate school experiences and those of my husband (in my Substack). When I got to the post that was supposed to be about interviewing at the AHA convention (like the MLA convention), I could not go on with my account of graduate school and its adjunct finish. After three one-year leave replacement jobs, my brilliant husband never worked again. He became an alcoholic. I can see now that I have not recovered enough to tell the whole story. I hope that I am not permanently damaged.
This essay is outstanding. My experience in graduate school was different--maybe because I’m a scientist--and was much more of a communal experience. Though no more healthy than what you describe! It was more like the Bachelor where contestants are constantly watching each other’s performance and comparing, and normal behavior gets more and more skewed.
America's rugged individualism culture has been the death of us: We have the most mass shootings, highest drug addiction and overdose rates, and most drunk driving accidents in the world. These aren't coincidences. But challenge rugged individualism? One will get shouted down quickly, as I have.
A couple trips to Europe opened my eyes. There was a feeling of helping one's fellow man and woman. I saw it in France, England, Ireland, and Denmark. When the tube entrance I was supposed to go to in London was closed for repairs, a barista walked me six blocks to show me where the next one was. She just told her manager, "I've got to help him" he nodded and we were on our way. I got lost in Paris, Dublin, and Copenhagen, each time people enthusiastically steered me in the right direction. This rarely has happened to me after a lifetime in the states.
Jeremiah Johnson was a folk hero among my north Idaho redneck classmates. They loved being detached from humanity, they used women as if they were toys, they bullied others because someone looked at them wrong. They sadistically trapped animals in the wild, some being alive stuck in traps for days ... and they laughed about it. They were barely human to me, but they loved ol' Jeremiah and what he and rugged individualism stood for. Me? I never liked it and I won't embrace it.
Even if there were no links or connections to grad school, I would find this essay to be shivery-good. But, and, I wonder whether the “go it alone” aspects of the TV series (and grad school)(and some people in the US) have a...fundamentally Whitened, White people element?
When I was finally accepted at one of the six PhD programs I’d applied to, I was admitted without funding. I asked how many had been admitted in total -- 12. Without funding? Only 2. “You can come and compete for funding!” the dept admin said brightly. That sounds...dreadful, I thought. And though I ended up getting accepted to another program (with funding), that perspective --and its objectifying brethren--compete! put yourself and be pitted against others! be badmouthed by women professors! be assessed as a sexual object by men professors!--permeated my grad school experience, job market, etc.
I appreciate your writing about the things I experienced in academia. I started writing about my graduate school experiences and those of my husband (in my Substack). When I got to the post that was supposed to be about interviewing at the AHA convention (like the MLA convention), I could not go on with my account of graduate school and its adjunct finish. After three one-year leave replacement jobs, my brilliant husband never worked again. He became an alcoholic. I can see now that I have not recovered enough to tell the whole story. I hope that I am not permanently damaged.
I hear you. I turned down graduate school and lit out for the territory. Spent years in the California Sierras studying John Muir. Nice write up!
This essay is outstanding. My experience in graduate school was different--maybe because I’m a scientist--and was much more of a communal experience. Though no more healthy than what you describe! It was more like the Bachelor where contestants are constantly watching each other’s performance and comparing, and normal behavior gets more and more skewed.
Fantastic! I moved to rural Japan at 40 to live out an imagined simple life. I met several foreigners like me in valleys living in old farmhouses.
None of us lasted more than a few years. That way of life is vanishing for real reasons.
I’m curious what you think of Wendell Berry?
America's rugged individualism culture has been the death of us: We have the most mass shootings, highest drug addiction and overdose rates, and most drunk driving accidents in the world. These aren't coincidences. But challenge rugged individualism? One will get shouted down quickly, as I have.
A couple trips to Europe opened my eyes. There was a feeling of helping one's fellow man and woman. I saw it in France, England, Ireland, and Denmark. When the tube entrance I was supposed to go to in London was closed for repairs, a barista walked me six blocks to show me where the next one was. She just told her manager, "I've got to help him" he nodded and we were on our way. I got lost in Paris, Dublin, and Copenhagen, each time people enthusiastically steered me in the right direction. This rarely has happened to me after a lifetime in the states.
Jeremiah Johnson was a folk hero among my north Idaho redneck classmates. They loved being detached from humanity, they used women as if they were toys, they bullied others because someone looked at them wrong. They sadistically trapped animals in the wild, some being alive stuck in traps for days ... and they laughed about it. They were barely human to me, but they loved ol' Jeremiah and what he and rugged individualism stood for. Me? I never liked it and I won't embrace it.
Even if there were no links or connections to grad school, I would find this essay to be shivery-good. But, and, I wonder whether the “go it alone” aspects of the TV series (and grad school)(and some people in the US) have a...fundamentally Whitened, White people element?
When I was finally accepted at one of the six PhD programs I’d applied to, I was admitted without funding. I asked how many had been admitted in total -- 12. Without funding? Only 2. “You can come and compete for funding!” the dept admin said brightly. That sounds...dreadful, I thought. And though I ended up getting accepted to another program (with funding), that perspective --and its objectifying brethren--compete! put yourself and be pitted against others! be badmouthed by women professors! be assessed as a sexual object by men professors!--permeated my grad school experience, job market, etc.