While packing boxes for another move, I’ve gone through a familiar cycle of deciding what to keep and what to throw away. Old photographs always make the cut, but I puzzle over some of them. I can’t believe that the boy flexing in neon Spandex and a shredded tank top could ever have been me. But maybe I’m fooling myself by imagining that I’ve left him behind.
Just lost my comment somehow so will quickly say that I love this essay. There may be a genre emerging here, "fit lit"? Or maybe that's already a thing. Love the modernity quote, the description of how ex's define each other (what we're recovering from), the use of the photo as a hook, the moving description of what so many would dismiss as toxic masculinity (I too saw the sadness in the faces of those grotesquely misshaped young men), wow. Thank you.
Thank you, Kathryn! I always find it a little magical when a topic like this lands with readers who might not have chosen it. I'm not the first to suggest that men suffer from toxic masculinity -- but you're making me wonder if that might be too sweeping a category, and if there might be some more reluctant forms of it. I almost included a gym scene from the recent movie "Old Dads," which juxtaposes 80s/90s gym culture with the more inclusive contemporary fitness center. That particular scene is a little too on the nose, however, and it lacks the nuances I was aiming for here.
Enjoyed this. I used to run, but then my knees started giving me trouble. For a while, I tried to lift weights, but found it boring. Finally, I’ve found a wellness routine that suits me: yoga and long dog walks. My yoga studio is about 90% women, but since women are much tougher than men, I figure that if I can keep up with them at my age, then I’m doing ok. Plus, I always feel better after yoga, which seems like a good sign, and my studio is a kind, welcoming place that makes everyone feel at home.
Sounds like a healthy workout routine! I'm no Peloton salesman, but they have yoga, stretching, meditation, bodyweight routines, and quite a lot more. Variety is also a welcome part of contemporary fitness culture.
I am actually in the process of writing my own false fitness essay myself. I am 49 so I grew up at the same time but was not athletic. I gave up on that, partly because there were no role models who looked like me.
I look forward to reading that essay! It makes sense -- I had more than enough lookalike models in the 80s and 90s. I hope you're finding some inspiration now. But now I'm curious: am I overstating how much more inclusive the gym has become?
No, I think you are spot on, particularly when it comes to Peloton. I think the success of their model comes from what you are describing. Peloton creates a virtual community which is seeded by their trainers who represent a participant’s values and goals. When I used to run marathons I always trained better and safer when I was with people. We all were training for the same reason, and similar birds flocked together. I am currently reading David Brooks’ The Second Mountain and it is interesting how our society is hurt by individualism but can be healed by interdependence. What you describe is that escape from testosterone competition to a much healthier and sustainable collaboration. At everyone’s heart we just want to be seen. That is compassion. And that is what is sorely lacking today.
I would say it’s pretty good. I agree with everything’s he’s said thus far (just partway through). I read him all the time in The Atlantic, and even when I don’t agree with him I find that he’s quite reasonable in his approach. I would say this book is worth a trip to the library. If you want a preview of the book you can listen to this podcast: https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/advice/david-brooks-second-mountain/
I've been reading him in the NYT for 20 years. He's one of the rare public ethicists, and as a professional ethicist it's just refreshing to see someone pay attention to this topic.
What a gift of a window you’ve offered readers like me. Would you mind ending up in a classroom? There are so many lines here I can see my students writing about and considering in conversation. This in particular for me: “Maybe that boy lives on in the heartwood of “me” — not alive, exactly, but still part of where I come from, what holds me together.” My students read this at the beginning of the semester and refer to it at least once a week: https://poetryarchive.org/poem/the-men-are-weeping-in-the-gym/ Your essay would be a beautiful companion piece.
Thanks for reading! Yes, that poem strikes close to the mark. Please feel free to use my essay in your class. It's possible that the chapter "The Power Team" in my memoir would also speak to your students, if any of them come from evangelical backgrounds.
Appreciate you sharing this Josh—and the note about seeking out different trainers, and, in particular, _happy_ people! My favorite YouTube trainers are Sean Vigue, Alex Crockford and the guy who runs Home Remedy Fitness — all humble, happy, non macho guys who are also super fit, great at doing what they do, teaching, leading, and helping to motivate me with my own fitness. Look 'em up, they're awesome!
I smiled reading that entirely accurate description of 90s weight rooms.
I was a gym rat for 9 years, and only gave it up because it was getting in the way of soccer. Your description of the music of most weight rooms I've ever entered in entirely accurate. While I was into the music, I would then also listen to Enya and Delerium on headphones.
Thankfully, lifting was about empowerment for me, and not masculinity, and thus emotive music resonated with me. I would do curls to Celtic ballards!
There is a kind of power in owning oneself, especially publicly, and especially when one owns even hte cringe-worthy. Sadly, it's not something I could see or do as a youth ... which probably describes many of us.
Interesting point about ownership. Yes, fitness is undeniably empowering. I think it's a subtle shift from manifesting power as a form of dominance to enjoying strength in a more personal way. I love finishing a long run with gas in the tank, or choosing heavier weights on a day when I feel up for the challenge. But that's no longer a pose I'm striking -- it's truly about the joy of movement.
I want to add that I also liked the piece, Josh. And, as a historian, really appreciate the last sentence. Historiography class is coming up this semester, and your "marvelings" are exactly how I like to talk about the study of history -- never a whole truth, our lives and all lives land in the hands of others, and we spend our time thinking about how to remember and tell those stories. And in the process, reflect on our own stories as well. Thanks and Happy New Year!
I really enjoyed this reflection Josh. I have spent a lot of time in different fitness cultures. From the powerlifting gyms of high school grunting and contorting myself (my back hurts just thinking about it) to the military, rowing crew, playing volleyball, and lots of other places. It’s something I still struggle with, still feel the pull to the extremes even as I know better.
My current routine is a lot of Yoga and BJJ, but I’ve found a way of doing it that lets me show up as a 40 year old thin guy and enjoy who I am. Not easy to find, but I’m enjoying it. I feel happy, and it all supports the rest of my life in a way my old fitness routine never did.
You went so many places with this essay that I’d write an entire essay to respond. But maybe I’ll just leave it to say I resonated with a lot of what you wrote. And I look forward to writing more together this year. Good luck on the move
Thanks, Latham! I thought of you while writing this one, especially your piece about nutrition a while back. It's kind of miraculous that those of us steeped in the most extreme kind of fitness culture find our way toward moderation. Perhaps that is a testament to how unnatural the macho extremes are, how performative those modes are even for those who seem like natural tough guys. I know at least three veterans who don't exercise much now. My cousin, the former Marine, told me that he just doesn't identify as a warrior anymore. He'd rather be fly fishing, doing something peaceful, than blasting the heavy metal and maxing out.
This is a more ambitious goal, but I wonder if there might be a way for this kind of essay to open a different conversation about gender and power. Since so many of us who were socialized in conventional masculinity have rejected it, are the perpetual takedowns of toxic straw men really necessary? Donald Trump and Elon Musk aren't actually that representative, IMO, or if they are, it's representative of a smaller cohort of men. There are others of us who aren't beta males, but who are trying to unlearn our conventional raising. I really don't think we're the enemy.
Good taste! I'm bummed that they've pulled some of her old routines, especially a killer 30-minute bodyweight class that always left me dripping. Gotta love the glazed doughnut look!
Just lost my comment somehow so will quickly say that I love this essay. There may be a genre emerging here, "fit lit"? Or maybe that's already a thing. Love the modernity quote, the description of how ex's define each other (what we're recovering from), the use of the photo as a hook, the moving description of what so many would dismiss as toxic masculinity (I too saw the sadness in the faces of those grotesquely misshaped young men), wow. Thank you.
Thank you, Kathryn! I always find it a little magical when a topic like this lands with readers who might not have chosen it. I'm not the first to suggest that men suffer from toxic masculinity -- but you're making me wonder if that might be too sweeping a category, and if there might be some more reluctant forms of it. I almost included a gym scene from the recent movie "Old Dads," which juxtaposes 80s/90s gym culture with the more inclusive contemporary fitness center. That particular scene is a little too on the nose, however, and it lacks the nuances I was aiming for here.
Enjoyed this. I used to run, but then my knees started giving me trouble. For a while, I tried to lift weights, but found it boring. Finally, I’ve found a wellness routine that suits me: yoga and long dog walks. My yoga studio is about 90% women, but since women are much tougher than men, I figure that if I can keep up with them at my age, then I’m doing ok. Plus, I always feel better after yoga, which seems like a good sign, and my studio is a kind, welcoming place that makes everyone feel at home.
Sounds like a healthy workout routine! I'm no Peloton salesman, but they have yoga, stretching, meditation, bodyweight routines, and quite a lot more. Variety is also a welcome part of contemporary fitness culture.
Gorgeous stuff, Josh. Beautifully thoughtful and reflective.
Thank you, Jenn! I worried that the opening image might send some people running. I'm glad you stuck with it 😊
It was right up my alley--made me curious.
I am actually in the process of writing my own false fitness essay myself. I am 49 so I grew up at the same time but was not athletic. I gave up on that, partly because there were no role models who looked like me.
I look forward to reading that essay! It makes sense -- I had more than enough lookalike models in the 80s and 90s. I hope you're finding some inspiration now. But now I'm curious: am I overstating how much more inclusive the gym has become?
No, I think you are spot on, particularly when it comes to Peloton. I think the success of their model comes from what you are describing. Peloton creates a virtual community which is seeded by their trainers who represent a participant’s values and goals. When I used to run marathons I always trained better and safer when I was with people. We all were training for the same reason, and similar birds flocked together. I am currently reading David Brooks’ The Second Mountain and it is interesting how our society is hurt by individualism but can be healed by interdependence. What you describe is that escape from testosterone competition to a much healthier and sustainable collaboration. At everyone’s heart we just want to be seen. That is compassion. And that is what is sorely lacking today.
I've been an avid reader of David Brooks for decades. How's the book?
I would say it’s pretty good. I agree with everything’s he’s said thus far (just partway through). I read him all the time in The Atlantic, and even when I don’t agree with him I find that he’s quite reasonable in his approach. I would say this book is worth a trip to the library. If you want a preview of the book you can listen to this podcast: https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/advice/david-brooks-second-mountain/
Thanks ... although Art of Manliness....
I've been reading him in the NYT for 20 years. He's one of the rare public ethicists, and as a professional ethicist it's just refreshing to see someone pay attention to this topic.
This is good stuff
Thank you, Charles!
What a gift of a window you’ve offered readers like me. Would you mind ending up in a classroom? There are so many lines here I can see my students writing about and considering in conversation. This in particular for me: “Maybe that boy lives on in the heartwood of “me” — not alive, exactly, but still part of where I come from, what holds me together.” My students read this at the beginning of the semester and refer to it at least once a week: https://poetryarchive.org/poem/the-men-are-weeping-in-the-gym/ Your essay would be a beautiful companion piece.
Thanks for reading! Yes, that poem strikes close to the mark. Please feel free to use my essay in your class. It's possible that the chapter "The Power Team" in my memoir would also speak to your students, if any of them come from evangelical backgrounds.
https://uipress.uiowa.edu/books/down-mountaintop
I like the take on ‘born again’ symbolism being very modern and future leaning, past-erasing...it’s a very American genre of religiosity...
Joshua, this was a fabulous essay! A fitness journey through words—thank you for taking us along.
Thank you, Maddie! The positive responses from women help me feel like I hit the mark I was aiming at with this essay.
More great recovery from the Recovering Academic. I tried to keep my post collegiate athletic body alive with Ballys’ mirrors. 🤭
After reading that essay I might just buy the RA t-shirt...2 sizes too small ☺️
Dee, I might have to send you a Recovering Academic T-shirt just so I can see how it looks on you with the sleeves cut off 🤣
That might scare the children. The classic Texas redneck look..”but wait! See my shirt?!”
Appreciate you sharing this Josh—and the note about seeking out different trainers, and, in particular, _happy_ people! My favorite YouTube trainers are Sean Vigue, Alex Crockford and the guy who runs Home Remedy Fitness — all humble, happy, non macho guys who are also super fit, great at doing what they do, teaching, leading, and helping to motivate me with my own fitness. Look 'em up, they're awesome!
Thanks, Bowen! I'll check those trainers out. Glad this one landed with you.
I smiled reading that entirely accurate description of 90s weight rooms.
I was a gym rat for 9 years, and only gave it up because it was getting in the way of soccer. Your description of the music of most weight rooms I've ever entered in entirely accurate. While I was into the music, I would then also listen to Enya and Delerium on headphones.
Thankfully, lifting was about empowerment for me, and not masculinity, and thus emotive music resonated with me. I would do curls to Celtic ballards!
There is a kind of power in owning oneself, especially publicly, and especially when one owns even hte cringe-worthy. Sadly, it's not something I could see or do as a youth ... which probably describes many of us.
Interesting point about ownership. Yes, fitness is undeniably empowering. I think it's a subtle shift from manifesting power as a form of dominance to enjoying strength in a more personal way. I love finishing a long run with gas in the tank, or choosing heavier weights on a day when I feel up for the challenge. But that's no longer a pose I'm striking -- it's truly about the joy of movement.
I want to add that I also liked the piece, Josh. And, as a historian, really appreciate the last sentence. Historiography class is coming up this semester, and your "marvelings" are exactly how I like to talk about the study of history -- never a whole truth, our lives and all lives land in the hands of others, and we spend our time thinking about how to remember and tell those stories. And in the process, reflect on our own stories as well. Thanks and Happy New Year!
Thanks, Lori! I resisted yet another Hamilton quote, but this is another case of having no control over who lives, who dies, who tells your story 😊
I use that quote in Historiography class, too! :)
I really enjoyed this reflection Josh. I have spent a lot of time in different fitness cultures. From the powerlifting gyms of high school grunting and contorting myself (my back hurts just thinking about it) to the military, rowing crew, playing volleyball, and lots of other places. It’s something I still struggle with, still feel the pull to the extremes even as I know better.
My current routine is a lot of Yoga and BJJ, but I’ve found a way of doing it that lets me show up as a 40 year old thin guy and enjoy who I am. Not easy to find, but I’m enjoying it. I feel happy, and it all supports the rest of my life in a way my old fitness routine never did.
You went so many places with this essay that I’d write an entire essay to respond. But maybe I’ll just leave it to say I resonated with a lot of what you wrote. And I look forward to writing more together this year. Good luck on the move
Thanks, Latham! I thought of you while writing this one, especially your piece about nutrition a while back. It's kind of miraculous that those of us steeped in the most extreme kind of fitness culture find our way toward moderation. Perhaps that is a testament to how unnatural the macho extremes are, how performative those modes are even for those who seem like natural tough guys. I know at least three veterans who don't exercise much now. My cousin, the former Marine, told me that he just doesn't identify as a warrior anymore. He'd rather be fly fishing, doing something peaceful, than blasting the heavy metal and maxing out.
This is a more ambitious goal, but I wonder if there might be a way for this kind of essay to open a different conversation about gender and power. Since so many of us who were socialized in conventional masculinity have rejected it, are the perpetual takedowns of toxic straw men really necessary? Donald Trump and Elon Musk aren't actually that representative, IMO, or if they are, it's representative of a smaller cohort of men. There are others of us who aren't beta males, but who are trying to unlearn our conventional raising. I really don't think we're the enemy.
Jess is my favorite too!
Good taste! I'm bummed that they've pulled some of her old routines, especially a killer 30-minute bodyweight class that always left me dripping. Gotta love the glazed doughnut look!